Why Likeable Badass is my most-recommended book at the moment
Of all the books I have recommended to my clients this year, there’s a stand-out one that I now just keep next to my desk for ease of sharing: Likeable Badass, by Alison Fragale.
How Women Get The Success They Deserve is the subtitle, but most women I share the book with are already won over by the title. “Likeable badass” captures that elusive sense of what so many women all over the world are craving: to get what we want and deserve (in work and beyond) while getting to keep and preserve a sense of likeability in the process.
There are so many reasons I’ve shared this book over the past couple of months.
My clients* are struggling to make their case for promotion, challenged by office politics, wanting to be more assertive but fearful of the risk that they’ll be seen as “too assertive” or “demanding”. Women who doubt themselves as they take on new levels of responsibility and leadership, and who are so awesome, wonderful, talented, capable, and deserving of success that it sometimes feels painful for me to hear of their doubt.
(*many of my clients are women, but not all; I’ve also recommended this book to one of my male clients who was working through some similar challenges)
As women, and I certainly feel this myself, it can feel like walking a tightrope, trying to balance the hopes, dreams, and goals we have for ourselves, with the wish to stay in good relationship where we show up as kind, warm, and caring.
In Likeable Badass, Alison offers a model with a sweet spot of combining Warmth and Assertiveness, the two traits that give women the status and respect that is often missing in conversations, negotiations, and important relationships.
The one thing I’d suggest to anyone getting the book is to have some form of note-taking tool at the ready! A highlighter, sticky notes, a journal and pen, an electronic highlighter if you’re reading the ebook, voice notes if you’re listening to it. There is so much in here that is practical - as Alison describes, it’s a playbook with a lot of tips and actionable guidance. Her work as an organisational psychologist and professor means that it’s also research and science-backed, and her sense of humour and storytelling skills bring an extra bonus that makes it a highly enjoyable read.
It’s practical and inspirational - my first post-it note was to highlight this quote:
“With status, we’re not trying to beat other people (most certainly not other women), and our wins don’t need to come at others’ expense. In our context, to win means to overcome. Gender can be a source of status disadvantage, but it doesn’t have to be. When we know the science and use it to enact strategies that remove gender as a barrier, we’ve won. And while we’re winning, the women around us can win, too.”
I think this book will help you to get in the mindset that you deserve to win, in this sense of the word, and how to do it with more awareness and intention. Thanks, Alison, for this book, a rallying call for us all to go be likeable badasses and support the women around us to do the same.
