3 Things that Helped Me Get a Good Habit Back on Track

Happy July! June was one of the sloggiest slogs of a month I’ve had in a while, so I am glad to turn the calendar page and put it in the history books. I’m still trying to work out why that was, but in the meantime one thing that helped get me through a hard time was mindful self-compassion.

I had dropped off my daily mindful self-compassion habit in May — again, reasons not entirely clear why. But when I realised that I was missing the supportive kindness toward myself that I’d built up over the past year and a half, I knew I had to bring back my daily practice.

For anyone who’s previously had a good practice or habit and then had it fall by the wayside, here are the three tips that helped me re-establish the practice.

1) Recommit. First off I had to recommit to why I was doing this.

I asked myself some questions including: What’s important about this to me? What if I don’t do it? What do I need to make this possible? How does this habit/practice tie into my bigger picture plan for my life?

Once I had clarified the purpose, recommitting to bringing it back into my day was simple.

2) Start small. Oh, the feeling of starting again!

Most habits and practices are akin to building muscles. You can’t start with too heavy a weight or you just won’t be able to lift it and have to give up. In my case when I started mindful self-compassion, I started with a short guided audio of 5–6 minutes. Over 18 months, I built up to self-guided practice or longer audios. But after I fell out of the habit, a 30-minute session was too much.

Once I accepted I was somewhat of a beginner again, I went back to basics and started small to make it easy on myself.

3) Track progress. I love my little dots on a calendar.

There are all sorts of ideas out there about habit tracking — but the thing that has consistently worked for me is little dots on a calendar page. My version of a star chart! I pull from the wisdom of the comedian Jerry Seinfeld, whose approach was to write one joke a day and give himself a check mark, and then to keep the streak going by not missing a day.

I got a small satisfying dopamine hit from writing my dot on the page and that reinforcement helped me each day (if I miss a day I mark an “x” and don’t dwell on it).

It was honestly frustrating to fall out of a positive practice that benefitted me. But if anything, mindful self-compassion has taught me not to beat myself up over it. It’s life, I’m human, and frustration and struggle are parts of living.

So here’s to the restart and trying again. I’d love to hear if you had a good habit that you stopped and how you restarted.