How to not lose your mind in a day of nonstop meetings

It seems that the days of people having back-to-back meetings are still a thing. Whether it’s a pandemic hangover, or something that’s driven by our societal culture to pack a day chock full to the brim, it feels like many people are still in a lot of meetings. Like a lot. 

Here are a few tips I’d offer if you’re finding yourself in this situation. Your mind and your body will thank you. 

1. Close the gates. If a day starts to look too full and you can see you’re at capacity, block the rest of your day as “busy”. You need the time to rest and recoup between meetings and have time to take action on whatever is discussed in the calls. Work out what your own personal max is and then call time on continuing to fill your plate before it gets overloaded.

2. Decline. If you get a meeting request and you can see it is going to make the rest of your day unbearable in terms of the amount of calls you have, decline.

   “I can’t make that day; can we look for another time?”

   “I can’t attend, but feel free to go ahead without me if I’m not critical to the call.”

   If you want, you can offer a few suggestions that work for you. Often things are not as urgent as they initially seem, and the other person is happy to wait. People sometimes worry about missing information if they decline or don’t attend a meeting. See if you can ask about the process to share notes or action items. If it’s possible to record the call, see if that is an option – but then don’t put pressure on yourself to find a whole slot of time to watch the recording as that just may end up being more time that you don’t have. You may just want to get the highlights or key learnings or actions that come from the call.

3. Set your exit route early! When a meeting starts, let people know that you will need to finish a little ahead of the end time.

   “I’ll need to leave at 12:50 so that I can grab a bite to eat.” Lay it out up front that you’ll be leaving. When the time comes, leave! You may not get an opportunity or opening to say goodbye, but that’s ok. The important thing is that you leave when you want and need to. You could say goodbye in the chat or give a wave, but leave the call, even if it feels awkward. They’ll either carry on without you or perhaps the group will realize that they didn’t need the full amount of time. Either way, you take the time you need as in-between or decompression time (food, hydration, toilet break, fresh air) and don’t look back.

4. Remember that people can’t keep you at a meeting. I was so guilty of this when I was managing my team; it’s one of the few regrets I have from my working life is that I was often late to a 1:1 call with a team member because I didn’t leave my previous meeting on time. Practice saying phrases like this:
   “I want to be on time to my next meeting so I’m going to sign off here now.”

   “I’m leaving now so that I can join my next call on time.”

   If someone keeps asking questions or bringing up new topics, firmly say that you will be leaving (“so that I can be on time to my next commitment” or whatever language feels right), and ask them to contact you if they have any questions or want to schedule more time.

   If you start to notice that a meeting isn’t heading toward an end as the time approaches, you can say something like, “It seems we’ll need longer to answer all these questions; do you want to try to schedule that now so that we can end this call on time?”

5. Know that endings take a little time. Often these “departure” take time, so you might want to keep an eye on the clock so that you’re leaving enough time for the time it takes to say goodbye, depart, etc. Give yourself a hard stop as to when you need to be out the virtual door and then aim for that.

6. Have a practice that allows you to move from one online event to another. Maybe you stand up, move around, dance or shake in some way to move the emotional energy around. Stress chemicals need to be released from the body and movement is one way to do this. Or you could take some deep breaths to get grounded and centred before the next call.

   ABC (ABC - Awareness/Breath/Choice) or STOP (Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed) are great mindfulness practices which involve pausing, connecting to your breath, and then proceeding in an intentional way.

The bottom line is that you are the guardian and gatekeeper of your time. If it starts to feel like days of nonstop meetings are a pattern, ask yourself a few questions:

• How sustainable is this as a way of working?

• What’s going on that means I have many meetings? Can I call this out as something that is unhealthy in the way I’m working, or in our wider culture?

• What are the ways I can reduce my time in meetings?

• Do I need to ask for help or share that I’m feeling overloaded?

• What am I worried will happen if I’m not on all these calls?

• What permission can I give myself to take breaks?

• What would I say to a friend if they were in my shoes?

I wrote this as I finished a coaching call with a client who was struggling with a back-to-back meeting load, and these were some of the approaches and questions we looked at together. Which ones would you like to practice that would be most helpful? I’d love to hear.